Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Poll Pot

In these troubled times, the true blue Wizards fan occasionally needs a momentary distraction from the waking nightmare that constitutes his daily existence. In that spirit, I would like to offer the first-ever Arvinomics Reader Poll. (Literally, we have one reader, and it's you - so you'd better vote.) Anyone who has played Wii Sports is familiar with the Boxing trainer. I wanted to get a picture of him getting punched in the face, but this was the best I could do on short notice:

Into the wee hours have Fnology and I argued over the true identity of this mysterious shiny-pated sage. Does he represent our patron saint, (J)arvis Hayes? Or could he be the venerable Michael Wilbon, dispenser of sporting wisdom to the unwashed masses? Or, is he perhaps Zacarias Moussaoui, that implacable foe of freedom and load-bearing steel columns? You be the judge:

(I know, I should have used a (J)arvis pic where he has a shaved head, but I am just such a huge fan of that "come hither" expression, knowhamsay'n?) Leave your vote as a comment. Write-in candidates permitted.

I've included a bonus poll because I'm in such a goshdarned good mood. If you could have on your bedroom wall either:

A) an autographed poster of (J)arvis or
B) an autographed poster of God

which would you choose? And no, this is not a trick question, despite what you might think.

As for me, I actually keep an autographed poster from (J)arvis and one from God right next to each other on the ceiling. Sometimes, late at night, when the scented candles are burning low and the reception on the scrambled Cinemax is not so good, I'll lie on my back looking up at the twin pillars of my faith. Slowly, slowly, I cross my eyes: (J)arvis and the Almighty move towards one another in imperceptible increments; their countenances overlap; and then, in a blinding instant, God and Man are One, as Meister Eckhart envisioned so many centuries ago. Man and the Godhead, united as a single entity - the Manhead. I sink into gentle oblivion, visions of the Manhead frolicking in my brain.

Leave your vote as a comment.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, I cannot vote, this is too funny.

I already have an autograph from God, I purchased an autograph shoe/jersey from Gilbert Arenas last weekend. :P

Bobtimist Prime said...

Going with big Jarv here. God may have all of those powers and whatnot, but does he posess the seldom silky-smooth release?

Anonymous said...

(J)esus also has a Sweet (J). I think you're on to something.