tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44875193240124724462012-02-16T05:46:56.180-08:00Julienoreply@blogger.comBlogger321100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-64324741340612718422007-05-06T13:03:00.000-07:002007-05-06T14:28:13.419-07:00

Friends, we've traveled a long, perplexing road in the last month-and-a-half. We've watched Arvis find his long-absent (J), gloriously transform into Jarvis, and then morph inexplicably back into Arvis... sometimes on a shot-by-shot (or brick-by-brick) basis. Our faith in his god-like powers has been dealt some tremendous blows, certainly; but it has never wavered. No one knows whether the same

Everitt Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10228345899789254133noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-79610292385888391302007-04-28T17:09:00.000-07:002007-04-28T17:24:17.297-07:00

My dreadlocks are heavyI'm bigger than averageI'm a failure.

Everitt Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10228345899789254133noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-19136898791423215962007-04-28T15:04:00.000-07:002007-04-28T15:06:45.918-07:00

They made a game of it this time, but still no W. Will Caron's return to the bench lead them to victory?Stat line:5 points4 rebounds1 assist2 steals1 block2/13 FG1/4 3PT

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-55277448694756960912007-04-26T07:50:00.000-07:002007-04-26T07:52:42.546-07:00

Words don't do this justice.via the Sports Bog.

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-80182746720596800022007-04-25T22:19:00.000-07:002007-04-26T00:26:45.752-07:00

In these troubled times, the true blue Wizards fan occasionally needs a momentary distraction from the waking nightmare that constitutes his daily existence. In that spirit, I would like to offer the first-ever Arvinomics Reader Poll. (Literally, we have one reader, and it's you - so you'd better vote.) Anyone who has played Wii Sports is familiar with the Boxing trainer. I wanted to get a

Everitt Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10228345899789254133noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-45263554181560601062007-04-25T14:14:00.000-07:002007-04-25T14:30:37.980-07:00

How come no one in the media has mentioned the egregiously terrible foul call on Etan Thomas when LeBron landed on his foot and sprained his ankle? I have to figure out how to get the video off of my DVR and onto the Internet, because it's completely ridiculous. It goes like this: LeBron shoots, lands on Etan's foot and falls over. The basket goes in, the Wizards retrieve the ball and inbound

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-6429448419674948312007-04-25T08:05:00.000-07:002007-04-25T08:14:00.689-07:00

Despite all the news outlets' comments to the contrary, I still firmly believe we will see the return of Caron Butler in these playoffs. But lets focus on the true point of this blog, Mr. Sweet J himself.Stat line:18 points2 rebounds2 assists6/15 FG2/5 3PTAlthough the Wizards looked completely overmatched throughout the game, it wasn't a bad game for our hero. He deserves some sort of reward,

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-58514612549210687982007-04-22T06:43:00.000-07:002007-04-22T06:44:39.479-07:00

The time has come for (J)arvis to stand on his own now that the playoffs are here, so I'm going to stop predicting his stats for every game. But I will make this prediction: Caron Butler returns for game 3 at the Verizon center.

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-12938122279157627312007-04-20T22:48:00.000-07:002007-04-20T22:50:19.651-07:00

Our boys did it. They won the final game of the regular season and move into the playoffs on a slightly positive note. Although his scoring touch was lacking, (J)arvis managed the game-clinching steal on Indiana's last possession.Stat line:9 points3 rebounds2 steals3/10 FG1/2 3PT

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-84730140133502086782007-04-18T14:22:00.000-07:002007-04-18T14:27:11.795-07:00

Indiana is one of the few teams that's playing as poorly right now as the Wizards are. It's a winnable game and a win could make the difference between the 6 seed and the 8 seed. If (J)arvis can successfully post up smaller players (like he tried, and failed, to do with J.J. Redick last night) it will be a huge boost for a team with extremely limited offensive options.Predicted stats:40 points4

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-25552288226240736012007-04-18T12:02:00.000-07:002007-04-18T12:08:32.516-07:00

So we lost a close game in the last few minutes, continuing the trend that has seemingly been going on for months, but is really more like 20 games or so. Jamison had a fantastic game (except from the free throw line), DeShawn was terrible, and (J)arvis was okay.Stat line:15 points2 rebounds4 assists2 steals6/12 FG1/4 3PTI think we're getting all our terrible games out of the way so that we can

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-26757433965535887422007-04-17T12:01:00.000-07:002007-04-17T12:09:37.780-07:00

Like our beloved Wizards, this blog is stumbling towards the end of its run. After the dreadful beating they took at the hands of the Bulls, it's looking quite likely that the Wizards will end their run losing 14 of 15 games with their lone win coming against the Atlanta Hawks' JV squad. I'm making a bold prediction that (J)arvis comes through tonight with a superhuman effort to propel us to

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-10888576441361801272007-04-16T08:11:00.000-07:002007-04-16T08:16:36.003-07:00

That was quite a beating. I hope the Wizards can somehow get out of a first round date with Chicago.Stat line:11 points3 rebounds4/14 FG1/4 3PT

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-19814304420351221032007-04-15T08:47:00.000-07:002007-04-15T08:53:40.969-07:00

This afternoon the Wizards get the Chicago Bulls in a potential preview of the 2-7 matchup in the Eastern Conference playoffs. I like the way the Wizards match up against the Bulls, because they like to give up open jump shots and the Bulls often have cold nights where they're missing a lot of open jump shots. I feel like the Wizards could even steal a game from them in the playoffs. However,

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-76597715121153272142007-04-15T08:38:00.000-07:002007-04-15T15:01:56.233-07:00

Our last winnable game of the season and the Wizards somehow dug deep and found a way to not disappoint their 3 remaining fans. The Hawks are even more decimated by injuries/suspensions than the Wizards at this point, so I elected not to watch the game in favor of absorbing some Japanese culture. Dr. (J)arvis made me look like a poor man's Nostradamus against the hapless birds.Stat Line:20

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-6922754002341060812007-04-13T11:38:00.000-07:002007-04-13T11:46:08.035-07:00

Like I have so many times in the past, I'm predicting a win by the Wizards tonight. But this time I mean it. Seriously. I mean it's the Hawks, come on now.Predicted Stats:22 points3 rebounds2 assists10/21 FG2/4 3PTDr. (J)arvis is turned loose by Eddie Jordan and he hits the game winner at the buzzer.

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-46942460201022002162007-04-12T19:37:00.000-07:002007-04-12T21:49:12.098-07:00

You see, here's my theory. Jarvis Hayes, in the course of his never-ending quest to sweeten his J, bade Michael Ruffin teach him the ways of alchemical engineering, that he might craft a J-sweetening potion. Ruffin obliged, and after many hours of labor, Jarvis and he emerged from the Wizards' laboratory, a goblet of steaming, foul-smelling liquid hoisted before them. "Behold!" quoth Jarvis,

Everitt Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10228345899789254133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-75512885774503503892007-04-12T08:12:00.000-07:002007-04-12T08:22:03.427-07:00

Another game, another close L. While I thought creating an Arvis blog would help me endure the inevitable painful defeats that would come with the loss of the Wizards' two All-Stars, I find my spirits as crushed as usual. Fortunately, there are things like this to help me through the hard times.Last night's stats:13 points2 rebounds1 assist2 steals6/9 FG1/2 3PTNot a bad effort from our man as

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-42461706679528981972007-04-11T15:27:00.000-07:002007-04-11T15:36:04.896-07:00

Every time I predict a good game for him, Arvis has a poor or mediocre game. When I predict a mediocre game, he goes for a career high. Against Miami, even with all their injuries and a limited D. Wade, the Wiz are going to need to play some serious ball. So here's my contribution in the form of predicted stats for the Wizards' savior:3 points2 rebounds1 assist1 steal1/7 FG1/4 3PTBonus

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-42092763749118803372007-04-11T13:09:00.000-07:002007-04-11T13:16:09.983-07:00

Another game, another late collapse. Can't blame the injuries because the Wizards have been doing this since well before Agent 0 went down. Alas, Arvis could not get it going against the Nets, managing a feeble 3 points in 27 minutes as his sweet (J) was more suited to house-building than point-scoring.Stat line:3 points2 rebounds1 assist1 steal1/7 FG1/4 3PT

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-91893518385724856632007-04-10T12:09:00.000-07:002007-04-10T13:02:46.092-07:00

Tonight the Wizards will break their streak of 2 consecutive moral victories and achieve an authentic victory over the New Jersey Nets. Andray Blatche will make a triumphant return to the court backing up our man Jarvis. (Aside: Was it strange to anyone else that Blatche went from DNP, coaches decision to starter when Antawn Jamison went down? How does Eddie Jordan come up with his rotation

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-41020779881053420702007-04-09T15:04:00.000-07:002007-04-09T15:18:41.448-07:00

So we created this blog to chronicle the rise of Jarvis Hayes as the savior of the Wizards' season, and after one decent game against the Cavaliers, I scaled back my predictions to try and play the odds instead of sticking to my convictions. I deserve the shame so generously heaped on Eddie Jordan.Stat line:29 points (career high)3 rebounds3 assists2 steals12-22 FG5-8 3PTFinal Score: Jarvis 1,

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-34477376532950125472007-04-09T14:25:00.000-07:002007-04-10T14:53:05.199-07:00

It has come to my attention that there exist - to my infinite horror - fans of the Washington Wizards who are not, ipso facto, fans of (J)arvis Hayes. Prior to my coming into possession of this knowledge, I would have Venn-diagrammed the Wizards fan -(J)arvis fan continuum thusly:(By the way, they really oughta be the (W)izards until they (W)in a damn game.) Any rational person would expect that

Everitt Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10228345899789254133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-65111414132030053672007-04-08T19:33:00.000-07:002007-04-09T16:23:33.973-07:00

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-77391807943519583722007-04-08T16:25:00.000-07:002007-04-08T17:47:42.042-07:00

Nuff said.

Everitt Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10228345899789254133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-24497663663026968662007-04-07T19:23:00.000-07:002007-04-07T19:29:05.883-07:00

Jarvis, the chosen one, is having his best game of the season and Eddie Jordan SITS HIM FOR THE FIRST 2 MINUTES OF OVERTIME! Alas, our hero could not make up the 6 point deficit his team had built while he was riding the pine. Perhaps someone should schedule a lesson in Arvinomics for Coach Ordan.

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-87941198394823699452007-04-07T16:28:00.000-07:002007-04-07T16:45:34.976-07:00

No predictions from me tonight. I do, however, want to share with you this haiku, which pretty well sums up what (J)arvis Hayes means to me.Sweet (J) elevates:Flight of the golden orb: Swish."In your face," I say.

Everitt Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10228345899789254133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-40858376986476737922007-04-07T15:50:00.000-07:002007-04-10T15:03:59.279-07:00

Although he fell short of our lofty expectations in his first game as the newly crowned savior of the Wizards' season, he showed some positive signs. 50% from the field and beyond the arc and solid defense against the 36th President of the United States. Sadly, the result for the team was no different than usual, as they lost the lead late and went down in defeat.But a new challenge awaits

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-33262851003316855322007-04-06T20:02:00.000-07:002007-04-08T17:46:27.368-07:00

(J.) Hayes: 10 pts, 4-8 FG, 2-4 3pt (that's 50% baby!)L. James: 25 pts, 7-23 FG (ouch for him), 11-14 FT (ouch for us)Well, (D)arvis did his part, almost single-handedly holding L'Bron to 30% shooting. Most of James' 25 pts came in the 4th quarter, as Hayes rode the pine. If Eddie "I can't feel my brain" Jordan hadn't sat his superstar when it counted, he would undoubtedly have carried the team

Everitt Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10228345899789254133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-2814984411239325502007-04-06T16:13:00.000-07:002007-04-08T17:45:11.257-07:00

I second your prediction, but I furthermore predict that (D)arvis guards Queen LeTravel all night long and shuts him down like a brownout in post-Katrina New Orleans. So instead of a stat line for our protagonist, here's one for Monsieur James:LeBron Buttock:0/12 FG1/4 FT2 reb1 ast1 point.After the game, quoth TheBron: "Man, (J)arvis was all up ons like butter on a muffin. I knew he had a sweet

Everitt Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10228345899789254133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-75810152023010867012007-04-06T15:05:00.000-07:002007-04-08T17:44:42.379-07:00

Projected stats for tonight's game against Cleveland:27 points8 rebounds3 assists1 steal12/21 FG3/7 3PTBroken kneecaps: 0

Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09345465701114051105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487519324012472446.post-73551652642979062672007-04-06T14:25:00.000-07:002007-04-06T15:11:34.778-07:00

Q: Who is (J)arvis Hayes?A: Everyone knows that he is the starting center for the Washington Wizards. Sometimes he plays shooting guard. That's what is so great about (J)arvis: his versatility.Q: Why are there parentheses around his (J)?A: Until the recent sightings of his sweet (J) are unconditionally confirmed, (J)arvis is only provisionally granted access to the first letter of his name. We

Everitt Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10228345899789254133noreply@blogger.com1